I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
