I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
