He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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