people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
do nipples grow back?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
