Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
