When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
