It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
