I think my fart just growled at me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
