I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
