When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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