You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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