if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize