No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
