I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
