You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
