I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
