In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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