I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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