Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
