I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
