i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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