Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
