the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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