So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish I only lived at night.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Randomize
