shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
