Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
