We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
