May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
