Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
