remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
