i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this will be a night to untag.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
