I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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