Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize