if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
