I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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