Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
