but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
