Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
