I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
