guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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