they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
