I need help removing her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
