He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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