oh god the rape fog is back!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Found the puke drawer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
