3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
