My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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