My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize