I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize