i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she pinky promised me she was 18
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
