i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize