yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
