What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
