and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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