Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize