just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
