Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
