its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
