one might say we're banned from that church
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
