those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
