Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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