Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this just has baby written all over it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize