and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
